Saturday, August 1, 2009

Google-bombing for Christ

I decided to obsessively check google news one more time (you know, to make sure that the horsemen of the apocalypse haven't started galloping towards my home in the last 30 seconds since I last refreshed the browser), and I noticed the following top story.

Hmmmm. Wonder what that story is about? Waiiiiit a minute. "Many Christ-followers, like myself, talk about being "in a relationship" with God..."
There's got to be actual news in here, somewhere, right?
Oh. I see. The story is about some lady who was a former drug addict who found Jesus and was saved and has changed her relationship status on facebook to "In a relationship" in an attempt to get everyone she knows to ask her who the lucky bloke is so she can have an excuse to witness them. At least that's what half the story was about. The rest was various allusions to Bible verses. Quick! Someone! Stop the presses! Some chick in seattle just changed her facebook status to "in a relationship"! But get this! She's in a relationship with JESUS!!!1"
So, I clicked "More stories"...I mean, because clearly, this must be actual news to be at the top of the front page, right?

Uh, no. No, there was no actual news story here. Except, apparently, Christ can Help You Resist the Devil's Power.
It seems like someone is out there google-bombing for Christ.
Obligatory Rant:
Now, I know that the Jesus that I would believe in would be someone who was humble and meek and encouraged his followers to be thus. THIS Jesus advocates turning the other cheek, as in "taking any entertainment away from someone who might be antagonizing you by not giving them the satisfaction of a reaction while doing nothing to harm them back." THIS Jesus probably would have thought google-bombing his name was the equivalent of worshiping a golden calf. THIS Jesus would probably say that if you wanted to win souls to his side, and by "his side", he would mean, "to act like him instead of worshiping him like a statue", what you would need to do would be to actually act like him and expect people to see the benefits of kindness and goodness and follow your example. This would be *real* worship.
But unfortunately, THAT Jesus isn't terribly popular. He's been consistently shoved aside (probably since the time Christ was crucified, if he did actually exist) by the "sword bearing"Asshole Jesus who says you're better than everyone else and you must. conquer. to show those freaks and heathens the right! Cuz, you know. You worship the right calf, so you're going to be saved. It's not the ideas that count. It's the calf.
Not that I worry too much. I'm an atheist. I just wonder what the world & human history would be like if Asshole Christ was switched for Be Nice to the Samaritan Christ.
At the very least, the top spot on google news would be *Real News*.

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